If there was ever something that had “bad news” written all over it, this is it. Russia is building eight nuclear reactors, and while that news in itself is enough to make anyone shudder, add the fact that these are floating nuclear reactors and it’s time to go into full-on seizure mode. No, I’m not kidding.

Russia wants to take over the North Pole, and by 2012 when these eight floating nuclear power stations are put in place, they’ll be well on their way. 2012 you say? Man, the news just keeps getting worse and worse, doesn’t it? Moscow is claiming more than a million square kilometers of extra territory in the Arctic, stretching from its current border in the Arctic Sea, all the way to the Pole.

This is so they can, wait for it…drill for oil at an underwater mountain range which could hold as much as 75 billion barrels.

“These [floating nuclear power stations] have very good potential, creating the conditions for exploring the Arctic shelf and setting up drilling platforms to extract oil and gas,” says Sergey Zavyalov, deputy director of the operating company, Rosenergoatom. Yes, all you can do is shake your head.

Each floating nuclear power station costs about $400 million and can supply electricity and heating for communities of up to 45,000 people, and can stay on location for 12 years before needing to be serviced back in St. Petersburg. They will initially be positioned next to Arctic bases along the North coast, but there are plans for floating nuclear power stations to be taken out to sea near large gas rigs.

Of course the Russians are saying that they can guarantee the safety of the units one hundred percent, and that all risks have been ruled out, but I believe I heard Tony Hayward say something like that just before the Gulf of Mexico turned black.

Bottom line: this is a disaster of epic proportions waiting to happen from the same people that brought you Chernobyl and dropped atomic bombs near one million people just to see what would happen. Considering that all the water in North America comes from the Arctic circle, the last thing I need is to wake up in the morning just so I can make a pot of radioactive coffee. Some may say I’m being a bit over the top here, and that’s fine. When a Sharktopus really does come to fruition because of nuclear radiation in the seas, I’ll be saying, “I told you so.”